World Of Written Words.

INNER WAR.......................

And senses wear out with time and turn trash.

Eyes notice evil, tongue doesnít support anymore, ears hear chaos of life, nose smells rat and skin burns with some unethical desire and all senses go rancid with time and then restlessness eclipses this soul and soul loses its own identity and runs behind the things It never appreciated.

And sometime I feel sorry for my own worn out senses; I feel hell inside me and I behave as I donít know myself and I feel some immortal devil inside me, who is killing my own soul, my world .
And I see and feel the things I never appreciate and then start the vicious circle of hatred and I even hate myself. I find myself standing at the hellís door calling more devils to kill my soul.

Nothing is worst than falling in your own eyes and I donít want to fall in my own eyes. I am not a devil and I donít want to work against happiness and peace. I want to love and bring peace and light into lives. I donít want to hurt self and others with anything in the world.

I have light and consciousness inside and however hard I try; I never can contaminate that part of soul.
Gradually senses overpower and subdue everything and things turn weak; but weakness begets pain sooner or later and I wonder if I should wait for some immediate pleasure or wait for pain to punish me later. I can enjoy everything in the world but mirror will never enjoy regret I gonna carry into my soul.

Forgive me for my deeds and forgive me my god for all the sins I committed. I just want to get rid of these worn out and done for senses. I want to go back to my soul, to that part of my soul which still is not contaminated. I can hear everything so clear from within, I can hear my soul and I donít want to turn into pain at any cost. I just want to have a tiny bit of peace for self and others. I want to turn into a better person.

Yesterday was different and I have punished self a lot for things and even have punished the people with my wicked senses and I donít want to crush my own soul and hurt others with all this.

I am back and you can trust me, I donít want to carry pain on my back.
And today I can breathe again and I donít feel choked anymore. I have got brand new senses and I want to re-build my small room, I want to recolor everything there and design my tiny world the way I want, which will beget peace and love only for soul and the people around me.

Forgive me.

I want to face mirror and my own soul; and my soul you can trust me I am not weak. I am not that weak.

When going gets tough, I got nothing much except my words.
And it is pretty tough to recognize self sometime and everything works against each other. Mind and senses, this duo, work against heart and soul and into this inner war; I only write words and try to recognize my true self into everything and I read these words back to back in order to remind self that I have written these words and I should never demean my own written words.

I want to breathe easy, I want to feel wind, I want to see and feel peace and happiness and I donít want to hear any chaos into my soul. .

Yes I am human but my soul I am not that weak and I will try my level best to not to turn weak and if I did I would bid good bye to everything and everyone.

© Shani Ajmera

Shani Ajmera

Shani Ajmera am 29.5.11 12:22

bisher 3 Kommentar(e)     TrackBack-URL

Raphael (31.5.11 00:13)
A deep look into your soul.Thank you,Shani! Saludos cordiales,Raphael

iulia (11.6.11 15:46)
best of life and blesses from romania

(29.6.11 23:08)
I understood,S. luv u .4ever.