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WHEN THE SILENCE FALLS......................................

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Sometime Silence falls and you feel your soul completely soaked and motionless.Things turn amazing blank and you know there is flood on the way and it is going to run over you but you stand there watching things happening around, and you wonder If flood got no any existence or your existence to understand flood has turned dead and numb.

How should I define my own existence there, Am I a body, A heart, A soul or some other commodity and It’s amazing tough to question self because answers got no value in true life. Sometime the feeling of being a recluse shadows my soul and I feel eternal silent and I wish If I never had any senses to understand self and No desire to express self anymore. I want this silence to bury my body, heart and soul.

Humans are never meant to suffer and Humans are meant for peace and I tell this a lot to the people I love. Sometime the objects in front of eyes turn completely invisible and I even cant see the pieces around ; People, Desires, Emotions, Trees, This Sky and the Entire Universe turn into a barren land and I silently standing there plant,carve and design my own world. I try not to see anyone or anything around and I just want to see emptiness around. This emptiness fills my soul with peace, What is the use of carrying much with self.

Thousands of pages I read and Millions of thoughts I ever had are sinking all into that black hole.
A black hole consumes everything and leaves cipher behind and I am all in and running towards that black hole hoping that someday that cipher would even wear me out and I will feel completely done for. Done for this inner tantrum.

The more I meet the people the more roads I see and I am already standing at a point where I see millions of cross roads and I am not a path oriented person. I am still and I write this everywhere, I am motionless, So motionless that I don’t want to have a little quake into my soul. Let these beaten up roads lead anywhere they want, These roads could lead up to the heaven or hell. Neither happy to have heaven nor sad to be into hell.

Just had a look at a baby’s face today, smile on the face and I was millions of miles away from everything around me. The aura, glow and that divine smile on that godly face filled my soul with peace and regret.
As soon as I reached home, I Immediately mirrored my fiddled face and I tried various faces there but I could not see that light I had seen into that little creature’s eyes. So yellow these eyes are and brightness I had long time back is not there anymore. All the way back home I tried to imitate that baby , tried my level best to ignore the thoughts around me and pretended to be like one and I could only see those green things with leaves, I did not know what those things were, People call; trees. I saw those big giant stones, I did not know; those were mountains. How could I know anything If I was pretending to be a toddler. But pretty soon, I turned a little mature I learnt everything. These are trees, those are mountains, Things are bad and things are good. I learnt to name and understand each and every object and even I named every human emotion.

What if I call sadness happiness today and I turn happiness into peace. I turn my emptiness into love and I turn love into sea. Do I need to change all dictionary or I need not to banish languages I use everywhere, because not a thought ever was just, not an emotion was ever true. This soul is naming everything around ;this word sadness would bring more sadness and today I want to turn my Love into another name “Solitude“. The understanding I developed only begot me mystification. But somewhere deep inside I still got faith that I would find a way to turn this understanding into peace and happiness. I would invent some new way to reincarnate myself and someday I would be sitting amazing silent somewhere away from everything into much meditative and peaceful state.

Because When the Silence falls and you feel your soul completely soaked and motionless. You fall in love - Love that doesn’t shake you when the flood hits your life because Silence never argues the blatant realities of life.
© Shani Ajmera

Shani Ajmera

Shani Ajmera am 28.5.11 05:27

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iulia (11.6.11 15:50)
amazing thoughts,god bless u and keep u always safe